The past, an ever lurking shadow over the paths of our lives.  It is not something to be out run, feared, however, nor can it necessarily easily be embraced.  We are forged by it whether we like it or not.  I am undecided as to whether my past is a curse or a virtue.  It is hard for an old soldier to shed hard learned habits.  I am sure you must now have asked yourself what this embracing of philosophical diatribe has to do with anything.  Today I received Alondra's special needs report.

     I was not set a back by what was listed in two "options".  Clothing, shoes, groceries, bed frame and mattress.  I actually exspected it to be more.  I was more than happy to go online immediately and send the special gift donation for the amount denoted for all items.  I saw no reason as to why it was split into two options so I simply took care of both.  Maybe CI believes it would be to much to provide at once to the family but all the items listed seem necessary and essential to me.  Why wait to provide them?

    Yet, it has been my nature in the past to be over zealous about addressing challenges and I am sure I have never had a challenge that may last another eight years.  I am a bit fearful of how the family might view my will to help quickly correct as many short comings as I can for Alondra.  It is becoming essential to me that I do all I can to set conditions for her that will help her break the cycle of poverty.  Perhaps it may sound odd but she deserves that not only as a human being but for helping enlighten me.  Hopefully, this will help stabilize the conditions at home, which in turn will only help her succeed in school.  An education is essential to breaking the cycle.  I wish her not to worry about whether she will get a decent meal when she gets home.  I wish she can be like any other child and worry only about getting homework done and playing.  Yet, is there such a thing as doing too much?

     Would paying all her school tuition be too much?  Would providing groceries once a month be too much?   My response would be no but I am haunted by my fathers lessons of respect toward others no matter what their status in life.  Alondra is not my daughter.  Is there a danger of disrespecting her parents by trying to do too much for her?  I can only hope that the habits of my past are a virtue in this case.