I guess that's the effect of modern (post telephone deregulation) communications. I grew up an only child several hundred miles from my parents' families, so our family relationships were maintained through a single annual visit; brief, expensive, phone calls for birthdays and holidays from my father's siblings (if they didn't fall during the annual visit); packages at Christmas and my birthday from my father's siblings; rare phone calls with my mother's sisters; and a few cards or letters every year.

And somehow I don't think we exected relationships to be that "close." It's been 30 years since anyone was interested in my day to day activities, and being free of that kind of attention was a tremendous relief. I don't remember, as a teenager, talking with friends much about what we did when we were apart. (Well, unless it made an interesting story.) That's not to say I didn't spend hours on the phone with my friends, but we were planning activities or gossiping about schoolyard dramas (or going through the Sears catalog, item by item).

Candace,

I think we all get this amazing bond with these children because we all want the best for them.  So, it's hard not to know what their day is like and ways that we could help to make their days brighter.

It is tough too when we don't get the response or personalized touches that we hope for.  I try to think of the small things - a smile on their face, instead of what I do or do not see in the letter.  I sponsor a boy in Zambia and he is 10, the same age as my son.  I know with my own son, if he were to write a letter, it would not be that "deep".  At this age, they don't have an understanding of how to write this way.  I know my son is just learning this at school and I know the school's in Zambia are not at the same level. 

But, I've been filling that gap with learning about my sponsored child's world and that has really helped me.  It's also part of why I have sponsored a child in Zambia as I have a great interest in Africa.  I've spent time reading some very interesting books, and conversing with people who have been there.  I've seen documentaries on people that have been sponsored and how that has changed their lives.  And, just knowing all that this child must be going through makes me feel more connected with him.  Even if all that doesn't come through every letter.  For me it's now becoming the small things - like when he wrote "thanks for your love and caring."  Wow, that from a 10 year old.

So, lean on us, and know that even if some of your children don't respond as you'd expect that you are having this fantastic impact on them.  I don't think we have an inkling of how much hope we give these children.  I know you can't understand it if you haven't walked in their shoes.

Wendy